Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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