Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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