I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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