K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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