Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
