just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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