Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Every concussion has its silver lining
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
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