I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
