Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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