doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
