Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
