She's JV to your varsity
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
