I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
