girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
