you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
