I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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