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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis

  (757): View more from Virginia

  your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?

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• (619): View more from California

  His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME

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• (909): View more from California

  I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.

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