I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
