Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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