My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
