iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
