So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
