they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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