Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
