Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
