I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
