I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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