you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
