i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
