How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
