i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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