Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
