Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
