Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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