Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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