She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
