I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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