I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
