you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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