I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
