Porn is love you can see.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
