is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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