Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I got her a Nickelback box set.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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