did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
