Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
