it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
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