By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
