yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
