she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
