so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
