at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My vagina is officially offended.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
