I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
